THE ENGAGEMENT: Like a thunderclap on a dark stormy night, in that space of terrible nothingness, a swollen, heavy cloud descends upon me. Its suffocating thickness enters every open crevice of my virgin emotions, filling me with a sinking feeling of dread.
It was lights out, curtains down on my life.
My world as I knew it, was no more, it was now a senseless broken mess. I was supposed to be master over my emotions and have feelings only for God.
Feelings though were destroying me, and I could not overcome them. Suddenly life without feeling was a terrible thing. What were feelings for anyways?
There was no sadness, depression, or negative thinking...
Only a desert of existence, an emptiness of living, a fog of nothingness...
And in this nothingness the pain held me, constricting my entire body, making breathing more and more difficult.
My throat, gripped by an intense choking tightness, as if my head is being cut from the rest of my body. I’d lean against my bed, on the floor, and cry in desperation just to be able to breathe again.
The Story of My Arranged Marraige
Doing what was right didn’t matter so much to me anymore. Within the chaos of emotional terror and confusion, the physical pain was the gunman at the door, suddenly...